By Walter Cobb
“If I was your girlfriend would you remember to tell me all the things you forgot when I was your man?” Prince sang these words in 1986 and the sentiment still rings true. Too often, ladies, you are leaving us out of your lives. That’s right; you are leaving your man out of your life. You might think that if we are sitting on the couch watching t.v.,while you are on the phone with your girls expressing exactly how you feel about everything, we are content. (If it’s Sunday you are absolutely correct.) This is fine – she’s your girl, so we understand. But when you are off the phone with her and we are relaxing together and we ask you to tell us about your day you are “expressed out.” You have gotten everything of your chest, from how your boss has plucked your last nerve to everything else that caused you to feel a certain way, during the day. When you have expressed everything already, that leaves nothing for your man. Now, some of you ladies will make the effort, but it’s often a shell of the version you told your girlfriends.
Ladies, this can lead to your man feeling unneeded. We want to be the savers and the problem solvers for you; your heroes. More importantly, we want to be your best friend – yup, your best friend. We want to be the first one you share that good news with. Why? Because the first time you are sharing something that affected you emotionally you tell it with passion and energy. You reveal it in its truest sense and it helps us stay connected. When we are left on the outside looking or listening in, it is bruising to that oh, so delicate male ego! I know you can’t seem to ever escape our ego, but it is vital that the male ego stays strong. When it is broken we are shot and we are no good to anyone.
Don’t misconstrue what I am talking about. We don’t necessarily want to hear all about that one day shoe sale or what your friend’s boyfriend is doing or what horrible outfit your co-worker wore to work today, even though we have to take the good with the bad. ( lol) We are talking about sharing the events and emotions of your life with you. When this is occurring it will help us feel more secure in sharing our emotions with you. Yes, we have them and they go beyond just anger. We are multi-faceted humans and we want to be able to share all that we are with our partners.
So I ask you this: “If I was your girlfriend….”
Walter Cobb is a contributing blogger.