The ugly stain of divorce smeared itself all over Hollywood at the end of 2011, taking out some of the most popular marriages in the Black Community. We all had bets on Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey calling it quits within a year but they have proved the masses incorrect. Kobe Bryant and his ethnically exotic wife Vanessa just recently changed the game by reconciling. Will and Jada almost pulled a fast one but kept it together by hitting the media circuit and red carpets to dispel all rumors.
Our brown sister and brother, Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony were not as fortunate and actually drank the water in Hollywood. Taking a good hard look at these marriages made me realize that these women did one thing…they got married. They made a conscious decision to get married. It may have been a fairytale in the beginning and it may not have worked out for them but after all is said and done, they jumped the broom.
Women, specifically black women, are known for choice and flavor. Some women will drive all the way across town for hair services because a particular salon may be “the bomb” and that is what they prefer. That is a choice. Some women will not date men with children because of possible baby mama drama or not wanting to deal with someone else’s kids. That is a choice. Some women have a checklist for their ultimate mate (although they may never find someone that lives up to all the expectations) and just refuse to change, not lower, their standards. That is a choice.
Getting married is a choice. Staying married is an even bigger choice.To make a conscious decision about what you want in life, whether it is to be with someone with a good retirement plan, or someone without a criminal record, or even someone who is an American citizen, you have made the choice to do so. Sometimes what you want is not what you need. The best thing for you could be right in front of your face but it may not be what you want. Denying yourself the opportunity to be married is something of a phenomenon. Either way, the choice is yours.