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Nomalanga: One man tells us what men want from women
Some days ago I posted a message that comedian, Kevin Hart, allegedly had for black women. A lot of people had very strong reactions to the post and I was glad to see that because I always encourage dialogue surrounding love and relationships. One comment, however, stood out to me because the person who made the comment clearly outlined what men want. I am assuming that the person is a man; a black man. Here is his comment:
“Commenter” says:
“I love black women. Period. And I feel that they are only to be with black men. The problem that I see is that so a lot of women:
(1) disqualify men even before they even say anything to them.
(2)Tend to believe that acting aggressively is what they perceive as strength. But there are more good examples than bad.
[This is basically what men want]:
(A) I should not have to fight with her at every turn because she expects things to turn out her way.
(B) I should not have to be challenged and criticized for being who I am. And just because she is doing better financially does not discount my value as a black man nor does it warrant her treating me with disrespect or disregard.
Read the rest at www.successfulblackwoman.com
Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses is a wife, mother, professional speaker and an Assistant Professor of Professional Studies. For more information about Nomalanga’s programs, please click here.
About nomalanga
Nomalanga is a professional speaker and a Life Strategist for Black Women and College students. She also shares information with educators and corporations about how they can engage “Gen Y” and minority students. Nomalanga is a wife and a mother to two beautiful children. She is an Assistant Professor of Professional Studies at a local college and the founder NOMA UNlimited which offers success programs that focus on achieving individual goals through Personal Development as well as success programs for college students and educators. Nomalanga’s blog: www.successfulblackwoman.com
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Willa
April 22, 2012 at 10:16 pm
As I stated in a previous post. Black men have been trained against black women and toward white women.
Example: I spoke to two black men today and they looked at me with contempt and did not speak.
I was so angry, did not say anything to them about their behavio because I had just left church and probably wouldn’t have anyway (things are so dangerous), but there was no reason for me to be given an angry look of contempt instead of a hello.
Black men do this all the time and then they complain. But, I was at fault, I was trained by my mom that a gentleman should speak first, they were not gentlemen.
Frank Talk
May 1, 2012 at 6:45 pm
You’re so right Willa, but imagine how often/much B/men get ignored and put down by B/females after they speak first. Which happens more often that we speak 1st.
Just shake-it-off and keep moving. You sound like a different and more enlightened female. It won’t be easy for you to find a mentally qualified B/male–but keep the faith.
Special (Black Consciousness wise) people like you will have to wait for God to deliver a special mate.
Frank Talk
May 1, 2012 at 6:33 pm
Blackmen need to remember one thing. Even BlackWomen admit that they ‘don’t deal with females because they have issues and are sneaky and conniving.’
I have had about five tell me this in my lifetime (I’m 53 years old). If women don’t deal with women for their cycle-minds, why should B/men keep getting upset, hitting, grabbing, arguing and staying in relationships with these kinds of B/women.
believe me B/men, more and more B/women know and feel and see our pain. Just drop the loser females and get you a Queen. rather you search her out in a Holy Hall, school, supermarket, events, wherever.
The key is not to let the devil dupe you into catching a case or ruining your life by battling with a “weaker [minded] vessel.” This white supremacist tactic of distorting our family structures by placing females in jobs and positions above us; then targeting us to not succeed at any avenue in life has to be addressed and fought properly. Blowing a gasket won’t do it.