A Black Mother’s Greatest Fear

Marianne Williamson’s  “Our Greatest Fear” is a quote I have looked to for years as a source of encouragement and inspiration. Upon hearing of the plight of Trayvon Martin I realized that this quote was nothing more than hopeful thinking for me, and as a black mother, my greatest fear was much more vital and much more raw, and has little connection to Ms. Williamson’s prose. Although beautiful and spiritually inspirational, it would be a lie to cite this quote as my truth. As much as I would wish that this quote alone would define my experience, it does not. I would be blessed to have this as my sole concern. Not that I would seek to, but I can survive thinking that I am inadequate. My race can continue to press forward towards adequacy and success if only our greatest fear was in stride with Ms. Williamson’s words. In order to address adequacy and power we must first commission the safety of our children. As the mother of a young black man, my greatest fear is for the lives of Our Black Sons.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.”

A black mother’s deepest fear is not that Our Black Sons are inadequate, but that society and racism will deem and treat them as though they are.

“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”

Our deepest fear is NOT that Our Black Sons are powerful beyond measure, but rather that they are, and because they are, those infected by the disease of racism deny them their greatness by taking their lives.

“It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”

 It is Our Black Sons’ light and their darkness that most frightens others. It is the darkness of their skin that people who hate use to justify torturing, murdering and destroying Our Black Sons. Their dark skin overshadows the light in their step, the light in their eyes and the light of their souls. It is that same light that since slavery has caused a racist society to seek to extinguish, brutalize and dehumanize Our Black Sons and we say: “No more.”  No more will we stand by and allow misunderstanding, hatred, racism, bigotry and jealousy to destroy Our Black Sons.

“We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?”

We never ask ourselves who is my son to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Rather, we wonder why America will not acknowledge how brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous they are. As a mother of a young black man, I see the Trayvons of the world daily. I see brilliance in them, and I see talent and gorgeous, fabulous young men not simply “hoodies” or sagging pants. We want Our Black Sons, all of them, to understand that they are gorgeous, brilliant, talented and fabulous and that they can safely explore and showcase it. We don’t want anyone, least of all Our Black Sons, to kill another one of Our Black Sons.

“You are a child of God.”

Our black sons are undoubtedly children of God. We know it and we want the world to know it and protect them from the wiles of the evil at heart. We want them to know it and to protect each other and to stop the killing in our own communities.

“Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you.”

 We are very clear that Our Black Sons playing small does not serve the world. We agree, there is nothing enlightening about shrinking so people will not feel insecure around Our Black Sons. Our Black Sons should never be forced to play small in order to go to the store for candy, talk on the phone, or simply enjoy the basic freedoms of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness in America. Our Black Sons are at the mercy of this society, which has shown far too often that it has not advanced mentally beyond the 1960′s. Our Black Sons have been selectively hand-picked to be the demons of society and until every American respects and stands up for the rights of Our Black Sons, as a human race we will not adequately serve the world.

“We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.”

And the glory of God is indeed manifest in every one of Our Black Sons.

“It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.”

The glory of God is manifest in Our Sons. And as they let their lights shine, the lights of others are not threatened or dimmed and they have permission to do the same, without eliminating Our Black Sons.

“As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.”

I sit now, burning a candle and wearing a hoodie in honor of Trayvon Martin, Sean Bell, Amadou Diallo  and every other Black Son whose life was cut short for no other reason than they dared to believe that like every other man or woman in America, they enjoyed the basic tenants of human rights. I sit here my heart sad for Sybrina Fulton, (Trayvon’s mother), Mrs. Bell (Sean’s mother) and all of the mothers whose pain I can hardly imagine right now, because I know that they have met with their greatest fear.

We may not have articulated it daily. You may think we don’t worry about our sons as we go on about our day like other women. But every time the phone rings in the middle of the night I pray first. Each time my son goes out, until he arrives safely and calls me I am on my knees thanking God that he will not meet with the wickedness awaiting black men. Although I have every faith in God that my son will be safe, I cannot tell you that the 2 AM phone calls do not make me uncomfortable. As long as I hear his voice on the other line, I know we can deal with anything. I just do not want to hear anyone else on the line.

Whether we admit it or not, whether we rebuke, whether we believe in God or not, this is our greatest fear. Not just for our biological Black Sons but for the sons of mothers that we may never meet. For Trayvon Martin, for Sean Bell, for Amadou Diallo, for the others that we know and the thousands that we don’t know, our greatest fear is for their lives. As Black Mothers we stand our ground and tell America we will not allow it any more:

We seek to be liberated from our greatest fear.

We will persist in the fight for their respect, their freedom, and their safety.

We will obtain justice for Trayvon.

We will not conduct ourselves as we did in slavery, hiding our sons or asking them to dumb down to avoid being killed or snatched away, then by the master, today by police, bigots, the penal system or each other.

We will no longer encourage them to shrink to make others more comfortable.

We will not purchase the sagging pants, expensive sneakers, put them on Ritalin unnecessarily or place them in Special Ed in 3^rd grade as you plan the growth of the prison industry based on their substandard grades.

We will not take lightly another New York Times article about the shameful high school graduation rates of Our Black Sons in America and do nothing about it.

We will not shake our heads at the dismal numbers of Our Black Sons attending the best high schools in the major cities of America.

We will not herald or flock to another report, White Paper, Town Hall meeting or TV show that showcases the negative aspects of being a black male in America.

We will not support the media’s stereotyping.

We will gather Our Black Sons and teach them to stand tall and proud any and everywhere they go in America, affirming their right to be here and be powerful beyond measure.

We will stand alongside Our Black Sons and remind them they are kings, and we will remind the world of this fact too.

We stand in support of Our Black Sons. We love them and we will not give them up.

As mothers we stand with Our Black Fathers and together we shall liberate Our Black Sons.

We will not rest until the attacks cease against Our Black Sons.

 

“Our Greatest Fear” by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

 As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

-Marianne Williamson