The Black Family

A Villiage Without Love – The Sad & Sorry State of the Black Community

The Black FamilyThere has been an ongoing war between the sexes in the Black community for decades and it is time for it to end. It is pathetic and the only people hurting are the children. 70% of Black children reside in a single parent household; usually the mother and Black children are highly overrepresented in the foster care system. Although Blacks are only 12.6% of the population, Black children are 39% of the foster care population and that is a disgrace.

Some of us are so busy arguing am ongst ourselves and on the Internet about who is more trifling, Black men or Black women, that we have absolved ourselves of all parental and community responsibility. No one wants to look in the mirror and change themselves but would rather sit back and blame each other while making a slew of babies that will grow up confused and filled with anger.

And a special message to some of my sisters: Just because you use abortion as a method of birth control does not mean you are better than the sister with four kids with four different men. Trifling is trifling and I made this point because I know of women who have had multiple abortions but will sit back and talk about another woman like a dog because she has children by different men.

And brothers, I have not forgotten about y’all: if you do not want children, strap your boy up or get a vasectomy. Any man who is stupid enough to put the fate of his unborn children in the hands of a possibly unstable and vindictive woman deserves to have the child support system hounding him for the rest of his life.

In the past year, there has been a big movement in the media, encouraging Black women to date outside their race, in particular White men. It has been fascinating to read some of the comments from Black women on various websites explaining why they have decided to date inter-racially because they sound just like some of these brothers out here when they give their reasons for not dating their own kind. The generalizing and stereotyping from both sexes that takes place on these boards is sickening and although some of these folks claim to be “educated,” they do not have a clue but are filled with self-hatred.

American culture is a patriarchal one in which all men, regardless of their race or ethnicity, have been socialized to believe that they are superior to women whether they will admit it or not. So if a Black woman thinks she will be escaping the sins of patriarchy by turning to another race, she needs a reality check. The same premise goes for those Black men who told themselves that if they get a White woman, they will be as good as the White man. Complete and utter crap. Just ask Tiger Woods and O. J. Simpson.

It is not okay for either Black men or Black women to state that they only date White people because Black folks have issues. This line of thinking — that White is always right — is that of the Brainwashed Negro who has internalized every negative stereotype about Blacks and their culture and believe that if they immerse themselves in White culture, their lives will be better. Not in this country of the one drop rule because if you are Black, then you are Black and will get treated accordingly.

I know this blog is everywhere but these are my thoughts. Stereotypes about Black men and women are running amok and are being perpetrated by us in ways that are killing us as a people. The Black community is on the edge of a precipice but instead of coming up with feasible solutions to the problems of a poor educational system and the high murder rate in inner-city neighborhoods, some of us would rather discuss a third rate Black actor’s opinion of Black women or whether Beyoncé’s new baby girl is the new Damien.

But all is not lost. LeBron James got engaged to the mother of his children earlier this year and my best friend’s stepson proposed to his girlfriend so Black Love is not dead. Although some refuse to believe it, Black people do get married on occasion and these stereotypes about how we do not get married needs to cease and desist. I know several married Black couples, Black men and women who have been married, divorced and widowed and Black men who have married Black women with a house full of kids and I live in the hood. All these stereotypes do is keep Black men and women at each others throats and our communities are on fire as a direct result. It takes a village to raise a child and what happens when the village is at war with each other? A generation of angry children without love and compassion.


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About Kathy Henry

I am a woman. I am an African-American. Belonging to two minorities has shaped my viewpoint on life in more ways than I can count. It is not easy being a woman in a inherently sexist society. Add skin color to the equation and you have me. This is my world and my viewpoint. You do not have to agree with my thoughts but in the end, you will respect me.


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